Temporarily Out of Commission

Hi everyone.  Thought I should touich base and let you all know I'm out of commission for a little while.  I've been struggling with neck and back issues since the fall started.  I've had to cut back on a number of activities to reduce the aggravation to my neck, shoulders and back.  Bear with me.  As soon as this passes (and it will), I'll be back online again.  Thanks for your patience.

Wooden Toys That Won't Break the Bank

This evening, J and I will share some home-made wooden toys that are economical and very quick to make.  Of course, if you chose to make a toy using our methods, you do so at your own risk.

Caning Rod - This is a very easy one to make





Materials needed:  one hard wood dowel, 3/8 or ¼ inch in thickness, ($1.65 or thereabouts), one sheet of fine sandpaper, ($.55 roughly), one broken leather bootlace (or any suitable substitute) and a bit of hockey tape. Total cost for materials - less than $3.00!

J favours hockey tape a lot for a couple of reasons. First, it really sticks to whatever you put it on.  Second, it doesn’t let your hands slip.  This is important.  Even if your hands get sweaty or if you get a bit of lube on your hand, your grip is secure with hockey tape.

Tools needed:  small saw or sharp knife; scissors to cut hockey tape.

Instructions:  Cut the dowel to about 36 inches in length.  Using the sand paper, carefully sand the dowel until it is silky smooth. Splinters can and should be avoided!   Make a loop of the bootlace and tape it to one end of the dowel.  Continue taping the same end of the dowel until you have created a gripping handle. If you like you can use two colors of hockey tape (left over from the single tail whip project posted several days ago).  Once the handle is done, your caning rod us ready to go.

Spanking Paddle - A wonderful way to recycle old pine





Materials needed:  one piece of ¼ inch pine paneling approximately 34 inches long, (I found a piece in my neighbour’s garbage pile.), a piece of fine sandpaper, and a bit of hockey tape.  

Tools: Sharp knife (suitable for whittling on the piece of wood)

Instructions:  Using the sharp knife shape the paddle.  You will want to round the corners on one end (i.e. the paddle end) and spend some time whittling one end into a handle.  If you own a jig saw, coping saw or scroll saw, (or know someone who does) you may want to use one of these tools instead.   If you go with the knife, be careful,  Even with dry wood, you will need some hand strength and control to shape the wood properly.  Next, sand the entire piece nice and smooth.  Wrap the handle with hockey tape and you are ready to go. 

Remember, at all times, to use your toys responsibly.  Play safe, sanely and consensually.  

Budget-minded Single Tail Whip

J has been busy adding to our toy box again.  Over the next few days, I'll be posting pictures and how-to instructions for all of them.  Today's feature is how to make a single tail whip for about $4.00 CAN.

Materials Needed:

• one 1/2 inch dowel rod ($1.37 from our local home improvement store)
• one thin leather belt ($0.49 from the local Salvation Army Thrift Store)
• one package of metal screw-in eyelets (you only need one, so the package will do for multiple projects)
• scrap of leather or cord for handle (a broken boot lace works great)
• hockey tape - you can sue one color, but we used two.  We already had some on hand from previous flogger projects so incurred no extra cost here.  Hockey tape runs about $5.00 a roll, but a roll easily lasts for many projects.

Some Thoughts About Aftercare

My first experience with subspace was accidental. I was having a deep muscle massage at the hands of my massage therapist that was pretty painful and took deep breathing and constant communication with the therapist to work through. I was as high as a kite by the time I got off the table. It caught me completely by surprise the first time, but happens regularly now.

It is different from the subspace I experience during play as the feeling of euphoria is greater in a scene and of course, I can get quite aroused during play as well. On the massage table, it's all about trying to relax and work through the pain as she literally breaks the muscle lesions apart with her elbows and hands. The discomfort is rooted deeper in my body while play focuses more on the skin and muscles just below the skin. (For obvious reasons, J does not aggravate deep in the muscles during play.) The "drop" after the massage hits about an hour or so later. Hot baths and food help and of course, J takes very good care of me after my massage.

After-care is important following our play sessions.  Even after our nightly spankings, we cuddle before going to sleep.  J strokes me, speaking softly and sweetly about the redness of my ass cheeks or how I squirmed or whimpered.  Sometimes, if I've been really drifting, J covers me up and then massages my feet to help ground me.  J is careful not to trigger big adrenaline rushes during our play as I react very badly to adrenaline: the coming down process can take days and takes me on a horrible physical and emotional roller coaster.  I guess you could consider this "preventive" care: I'm guaranteed to have much less trouble with any kind of "drop" if adrenaline has been kept to a minimum.

Collar Number Two Has Arrived!

It took a while, but it's is finally here!  The byzantine chain mail collar arrived in yesterday's mail.  I put it on immediately and was impressed by the substantial look of the chain.  Because it is made of aluminum, it rests very lightly on the skin.  The padlock and key clasp took a little practice, but I think I've got it figured out.


I wore it to work today just to see if it would attract the wrong kind of attention.  It "passed" with flying colors.  Looks like I now have two collars to choose from for day wear! 


For those of you who don't know, this collar was ordered from aislinn marie who sells on eBay but also has her own website at http://www.artfire.com/users/aislinnseroticjewels  Aislinn was great to deal with.  The first collar I received wasn't the right size.  I emailed her and she responded within the hour, telling me to send it back and she would put a replacement in the mail.  I've never gotten such a quick response from an eBay seller and generally my experiences buying there have been pretty good.  If you haven't seen aislinn's work, it is worth your while to check out her website.

I'm enjoying wearing both my "street" collars. They are pretty pieces of jewellery for sure, but when J looks at me with pride and is clearly pleased to see me wearing them, I stand a little taller and can't help but smile. 

Play Parties and the Discussions They Provoke

To date, the majority of private gatherings J and I have attended locally have been fairly laid back, with "softer" play, a lot of chit-chat, and some show and tell of toys and fetish wear.  I enjoy getting out to these social affairs as it is a great opportunity to put on a corset, some stockings and heels and to hang out with fellow kinksters.  I enjoy watching the play that does happen as I find it engaging and also an opportunity to learn from others present.

Recently there has been some discussion within the local kink group in my area about organizing spicier gatherings that include nudity, heavier forms of play and some sexual activity.  While I haven't participated in the online discussion, I've been watching with interest. The exhibitionist/voyeur in me can certainly understand the appeal.  And I imagine some of the folks chiming in on the discussion are looking for ways to create new experiences and figure this is a logical progression. 

When Your Body Hurts, and Not in a Good Way

I'm living proof that seat belts work.  Had I not been wearing a seat belt 19 years ago, I'd have had more than a broken vertebra and torn muscles.  As it was the car was a write-off, but I got out of the car on my own (thank goodness for stable fractures).

The problem is that while the seat belt kept my head from smashing through the driver's side window of my car, it didn't keep it from bouncing off my left shoulder.  I have a long neck, so this posed a significant problem.  The belt also didn't prevent my lower pelvis from lurching to the left as well when the car made impact with the boulder.  Anyway, as a result, I have back and neck issues that up until recently I had been managing fairly well with the help of regular exercise, massage and chiropractic.  In the past ten weeks, I've had three slips and nearly rolled my truck trying to avoid hitting a moose.  As a result, I've had problems, most recently three migraine-like headaches in a two week span and plenty of back, neck and shoulder pain. 

This flare up (or series of flare ups) has made doing everything more difficult.  One thing this flare up has helped along, though, was our decision to move closer to where I work to try and cut back on some of the sources of aggravation for my neck and back.  Now I really can't complain when I think of how much worse my injuries might have been.  I have experienced flare ups before (though not for about a decade), but this one is getting me down.

Hiding the Toys When Company Comes Over

Well today we listed our house for sale.  We've spent the weekend sorting, purging, cleaning, organizing and otherwise getting our place sale ready.  We've done this more times than we care to recall over the past fifteen years, but the good news is this could very well be the last move.  In other words, the home we are heading to may be the one to which we eventually retire.  Anyway, as we were sorting through stuff in our room last evening, we realized that storing the toys could be an issue.

The house we are moving to is about 30% smaller than where we are now and some of our existing furniture will not be going with us.  One such piece is a large ottoman that currently stores all our toys and ropes.  What little we've gathered or made so far is fairly small or can be dismantled but there are a couple of pieces that by virtue of their length just won't fit into a standard dresser draw. Okay, I know that probably made some of you smile, but it's not what you think, honest....<wink>

Changes and More Changes

It's funny how changes seem to sweep into my life.  Six months ago, J and I were in a very different place in our relationship and very much in a rut.  We had a tumultuous summer after I "came out" of the kinky closet and we struggled to redefine how we relate to each other.  Of course, those of you who have been following this blog already know the outcome: J and I are closer than ever and growing together.

Redefining one's primary relationship is a big deal in anyone's life.  Especially when this results in a strengthening of the bonds between two people who have known each other for years.  While we have that shared history to draw upon, we also now see each other in a new light.  The growth this process has triggered is also causing us to look critically at others areas of our lives; to notice other habits or ruts that no longer serve us well and to be open to new possibilities.  This openess is a magnet for change.

A Gift From J: A Collar I Can Wear to Work

Lately I've had significant neck problems, head aches and one vicious migraine.  As a result, I've been unable to post and due to work deadlines and all the keyboarding that involves, I have had to limit my online time at night in deference to my aching neck.  I'm catching up on work this evening but had to take a moment to share something with you.

A while back I told you about the chainmail collar I ordered from a vendor on eBay.  I needed some adjustment to the sizing which the vendor was happy to make for me, but in the meantime, I was without a collar (except for my leather "play" collar).

AVON recently featured in one of its brochures a sterling silver chain sporting a padlock pendant in the shape of a heart.  Guess what I'm wearing this evening!  Yes, you guessed right!  J is of the opinion that I should have a small wardrobe of collars for different occasions and I'm tickled pink.  I'm so happy to be spoiled like this!

Anyway, if I can catch up on work, I'll be posting more regularly again soon.  I hope you will bear with me. 

Discovering My Limits: A Work in Progress

Having recently "recovered" from my first experience of sub frenzy (see previous article on this topic), I have been giving some thought to what my limits currently are.  I say "currently" as I can imagine that while some limits are enduring (i.e. are hard limits), others may shift with time or circumstance (soft limits).

As I learn more about the range of kinky play, I find myself distinguishing between what I am curious about in an intellectual way versus what I am curious about because I am considering trying it myself.  Take yesterday's topic about micro-branding (also called cell popping).  I was completely fascinated by the description in the Fetorials tutorial.  While it is a temporary form of scarification (unlike tattooing which is permanent), I can't see myself trying it out.   I say this even though I got my first tattoo this summer (and will no doubt be trying that again).  I realized that it was not the thought of the pain - there is some pain with tattooing.  I think it was the notion that it was temporary that helped me to decide: if I'm going to endure pain to mark my body I want it to be permanent.  This might also explain why I'm not big into bruises or other marks.