The last few play sessions have begun with a question: "Why are you here Pet?" The intent was to get him thinking about his role and the expectations he has. However he answers, I follow up with other questions designed to get past the obvious answers ("for you M'am") and to help him recognize his motivations. I feel it is important that he is fully aware and able to articulate why he desires to be my Pet and why this role is important to him.
He also needs to be able to think clearly whether he is anticipating the play session, is already naked and bound, or catching his breath in between rounds of impact or other type of play. I expect him to focus on my voice, to give me his undivided attention and to multi-task when needed. For example, he must be able to process sensations while delivering a thoughtful answer to my questions.
Last evening, we moved on to my expectations of him. I explained that I expect three things from him when we play. I introduced these one at a time, asking him to tell me how he can demonstrate these to me. The three things I expect are:
1. Surrender - I expect him to accept the experiences I am providing and to openly share his feelings with me. I expect him to show me his eyes and all that they hold. I expect him to leave his "daily armor" at the door. He is not to hold back his expression. When he is in my play space, I own his body, heart and mind. Outside of play, while my expressions of ownership are more tempered, I still expect him to surrender to my wishes.
2. Obedience - When I give instructions, he will follow them. When I tell him to keep his feet firmly planted and refrain from flinching, his feet will remain in place. When I tell him he is not to look me in the face, he keeps his eyes averted. When I ask him a difficult question and tell him to answer me honestly, I expect him to dig down deep and share his thoughts. He knows that "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer. Outside of our play sessions, I still have expectations regarding obedience. For example, recently I bought him several items of clothing without his input. I made it plain he could return two of the three items, but forbade him from exchanging all three. My purpose for purchasing the items was to challenge him to wear a little more color. Neither item was black (often his stand-by choice). While I may not issue many directives outside of play, when I do, I have his best interests at heart and I expect him to trust me and to comply.
3. Gratitude - I expect him to demonstrate gratitude throughout our play sessions. Bad manners or poor posture are not acceptable. "Thank you M'am" should figure prominently, even under difficult circumstances. Sometimes I will give him particular instructions regarding how I want him to demonstrate his gratitude and I expect him to comply quickly and enthusiastically.
He made excellent progress in terms of his understanding of my expectations so I left him with an assignment. Before our next session, he is to make a list of the ways he can demonstrate each of these during play sessions. During the remainder of last night's session, I referenced back to these three expectations repeatedly, drawing his attention to when I saw evidence of these. If he was paying attention, he will have no problem completing his assignment.
I thought it only fitting that the rest of this blog post describe my commitment to him around these three expectations:
Regarding his surrender - I have often told him that he is beautiful in his surrender and indeed he is. His ability to process sensations is improving and he has opened up to me. His surrender is precious to me. Even as I push him, I look out for him and see to his well-being. I temper harshness with tenderness. I focus my efforts to facilitate new and exciting experiences for him while I wield power over him.
Regarding his obedience - Because I value and respect him, I will never push him further than he is ready and willing to go. I prefer to make requests, rather than give orders (though there is a time and a place for firmness, for sure), and praise him immediately for his compliance.
Regarding his gratitude - This is an important part of the dynamic between us. I do not take his gratitude for granted but rather I acknowledge it and demonstrate how much it means to me throughout our time together.
I am looking forward to reading Pet's homework assignment on his next visit. I expect I’ll post on this topic again very soon.