I'll be the first to admit that I can get caught up in the excitement of a good play session, especially one involving impact play with floggers, whips, my bare hands and feet. The combination of sounds and sensations is exhilarating and watching Pet's reactions is extremely satisfying. There is no no compulsion to analyze these moments, only to experience and appreciate them for the treasures that they are.
Every once in a while though, something extraordinary happens between us. It often takes me a while to process these experiences, to truly understand their significance. I sometimes find it particularly hard to capture such moments in words as I struggle to balance privacy and propriety with the burning need to preserve those memories and joyfully share their stunning beauty with the world.
I've written previously about the almost feral responses I've been able to provoke from Pet and how empowering these are for me. To have him restrained by nothing more than my command while his body flexes and struggles against my invisible bonds, his eyes flashing wildly and almost daring me to deliver another blow, is an amazing "high" for me as his Keeper. I've also written about the first time he spontaneously used the "G-word". Flying high, unable to speak in words except to utter "Goddess" repeatedly, reaching for me and hanging on as though his life depended on it.
Sometimes the most extraordinary moments are far quieter and unexpected. Our play session progresses and we move through familiar territory only to be completely surprised. All masks drop, often unintentionally, and Pet affords me a glimpse deep inside, baring his heart and soul in process. These are intense moments for both of us. I can sense the struggle taking place inside him. He wants to surrender to what he feels, but its chosen way of manifesting is almost overwhelming to him. His expression shifts, almost becoming a silent plea for my help.
When it does, I lay down the flogger or whip and hold him, heart-to-heart, showering him with my strength and love. I keep him safe in the sacred space we've created, grounding him as the waves of his release wash over us both. As I behold the love, surrender and gratitude pouring from him in these quiet moments, I am deeply humbled and moved. And for a few heartbeats, time stands still.
Through his surrender, obedience and gratitude, I am learning what it truly means to be Dominant, to be his Keeper. Through his submission, I am learning just how beautiful and profound power exchange can be.