As many of you already know from previous posts on this blog, I've chosen to live more authentically since stepping out of the kinky closet several years ago, and not just in terms of kink.
Over the past several months I have been dusting off some old skills, picking up where I left off years before and slowly developing some new ones; flexing my creativity and taking the step of opening not one, but two online stores. My goal here is to develop my home based business to the point where I can afford to consider early retirement from my civil service job and work from home with my beloved (she writes).
Of course, this is taking an incredible amount of energy and one of the casualties has been my libido and opportunities for play. Tonight as I perved Fetlife, I realized that it has been a while since I really let my "freak flag fly" so to speak. And while it provoked a little melancholy, I honestly don't have enough jam left tonight for much of anything. The next thought in my head was I wonder how my beloved and my dear Pet are feeling about my energy levels.
I can't say I feel guilty as both of them know that my new business is very important to me and my long term plans. I do feel a little sad that I can't seem to muster more energy these days when opportunities to bond with both of them are right in front of me. Lately I find I'm more likely to tell them how I feel rather than show them, and you know what they say about talk being cheap...
Anyway, no point in whining about opportunities missed. Time to consider what I can do to show them both how important they are to me.