Long before cell phones, instant messaging and the internet, I once faced a lengthy separation from my partner of the time due to his work taking him away for 3-4 months at a stretch. I wrote to him every day, in a very conversational manner, as if I was sharing my day with him over the supper table. Of course my letters didn't arrive in a steady stream because he was out of range for mail service for periods of time. When they did arrive, they came to him in batches wrapped in string, but they helped us stay connected and kept him in my daily routine even though we were apart.
Cell phones, social media and texting of course have replaced letter writing. These days we can even send each other pictures in a heartbeat. Now the challenge is maintaining a connection while not intruding too much in the time set aside for the other people and priorities in our lives. Easier said than done.
We rarely call each other and instead preferring to text. This way if the other person is otherwise engaged, the message is there for later. Most days we touch base at least once, even if it is just to share a daily success, a picture, or just to check in and inquire about each other's day. Sometimes a little kink or power exchange creeps into the conversation, sometimes not. Sometimes we comment on each other's blog, Facebook, Twitter or tumblr posts.
Call me sentimental, but I find reading the thoughts and feelings of another, expressed specifically for me, to be both intimate and remarkably satisfying. I love seeing "Hello M'am. How's your day going?" or seeing a picture of him sporting a new haircut and noticing his collar. We share private jokes, turns of phrase, etc. and in essence have evolved a style of communication unique to us. This all reminds me of his regard for me as both his Keeper and as someone dear to his heart.
We may rely heavily on modern technology, but there is something more than a little old fashioned in how we nurture our connection when we are apart. It makes me smile even as I write about it!
So how about you, dear reader? How do you nurture your connections with your partners/play partners when you are apart?
I am glad I read your post today. I had lost sight of the fact that I write to Sir for his enjoyment and to maintain the connection between us. Lately I have felt the need to entertain him but my life is just not that entertaining and it made me sad. It is more important that I focus on the connection and communication rather than entertainment.
ReplyDelete@bonimiss - Thank you for your thoughts. Nurturing the connection is very important. We all like to be witty and such, but I find it is in sharing the small things, our observations and feelings on the everyday aspects of our lives, can provide the greatest insights into who we are.
DeleteSir and I email each other a few times daily and he is an avid reader of my blog. Rider and I correspond often and are often fodder for each other's blogs ;)
ReplyDelete~Kazi xxx