A while ago I wrote about my first experience ejaculating during orgasm. To be honest, at the time I wondered if it would ever happen again. I really couldn't say how or why it happened then, only that it did. It was as if lightning had struck, you know?
Recent events in my relationships have resulted in the smashing down of more barriers and the end of self-censoring my desires, at least in certain company (and you know who you are). If I had any previous doubts regarding whether or not I'm truly kinky, those have been put to rest. Yes, I am more than a gleeful sadist. Yes, I have much more than an intellectual curiosity around CBT. Yes, I am polyamourous and am attracted to men and women. I like to bite, growl, writhe, laugh and pant when I dominate and when I submit. And by gods, it is a wonderful life indeed!
Of course, it is more than a coincidence that in the midst of all of these epiphanies that I had another ejaculatory adventure! This time, the quantity of liquid expelled was greater. I also knew early on which direction my arousal was heading. As I explained to my partner, it originates in a very different place in my pelvis. It is less intense initially, but deeper. It evokes extremely primal urges as the tension builds. I claw and bite, and the sounds I make are utterly feral.
The next night, I made my first conscious attempt to push my arousal in that direction. I hadn't started out with that intention, just to see if I could move my body in the general direction. I didn't even care if I reached a climax or not. I just wanted to go back and pay closer attention to the sensations when arousal is building in that area of my pelvis.
I had recalled a class I took years ago - an introduction to tantric practice - and I tried one of the exercises I learned at that class. Using my Kegel muscles, I rhythmically pushed outward, while my Hitachi wand and my partner added to my physical stimulation. That, I discovered was the key! When I finally climaxed, I squirted at least three feet! And the quantity of liquid expelled was significant even though I had only climaxed like this the night before.
I've noticed that my arousal has been slower to build this way, but it is utterly delicious. It isn't as frustrating when I plateau either. It has an entirely different quality to it. The plateaus are actually small rest periods, where I can catch my breath. My body heats up incredibly during this process as well. I was slick all over from the exertion. And once again, I writhed, panted and moaned myself hoarse. Sex hasn't been this athletic an endeavor in years!
When trying to explain the difference between it and a more traditional clitoral-focused orgasm, I made this distinction: A traditional orgasm has the sensation of energy running upwards inside my body, while an ejaculatory orgasm has the sensation of energy being expelled. Instead of feeling "zapped out" afterwards, I feel like my lungs are larger and my chakras have been cleared.
I have a feeling there will be a physical conditioning program in my future. I need to get in better shape to see where I might take this little adventure of mine next. And it seems like I now have more reason than ever to improve my fitness level!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Couch Bondage: Another Rope Night
A few kinksters in my area have been getting together fairly regularly over the past month or so for rope practice. This past Sunday, Pet and I got out to one of these and had a great time. The group took over our host's living room. At one point there were so many people actively tying up their rope bottoms that Pet and I opted for what I dubbed "couch bondage" - i.e. any rope work that could be done while both parties were seated on the couch.
Our first exercise in couch bondage involved a hand tie. It started out with a coin knot around Pet's wrist and then just grew and grew as I tried to cover as much of his hand as possible. In the end, it sort of looked like he had a turtle on his hand!
Next I tried a little hair bondage. I anchored the bight of my cotton rope to the elastic holding his pony tail, then worked square knots/Solomon's Bar straight down the tail until I was about an inch and a half from the bottom. Then I doubled up the covered tail, securing it back at the starting point. Then I covered a little more than half of the knot covered tail in half hitches, leaving a loop at the end. I loved this - Pet not so much. (He has a thing about having strands of hair tugged on.) It did look great though.
Eventually a friend of ours tied us together, with me lying on top of him (he likes compression). This was our first time being tied up together. We had a blast! The friend had me do some work with lighter line around his cock and balls which was subsequently secured to the column tie around my ankles. If I moved my legs, his balls felt a good tug. We rounded out the night by borrowing some hemp from the other participants and I hogtied him on the floor.
It's always fun to get together and practice rope with friends. I find I always learn something new and am inspired by the work of others. Pet and I are already looking forward to our next opportunity.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The DIY Approach to CBT
Our local kink community is preparing for its first larger scale event - two days of workshops where folks can share their knowledge and experiences with others and two evenings of play parties. I've submitted (and had accepted) a proposal for a ninety minute workshop on CBT (cock and ball torment/torture). Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm no expert - but I will lay claim to being a safe, sane and enthusiastic beginner who is eager to share with others what a blast this can be!
I vividly recall my first very tentative steps into CBT. Pet had lent me his copy of Hardy Haberman's "Family Jewels" which I had devoured; however, I was still apprehensive. I was fighting against a lot of conditioning and experience with men who preferred a woman to be careful with their tender bits. And not only was I new to CBT, but I was brand new as a top as well.
Mr. Haberman recommends you learn from an experienced top; however, that's a tall order in my part of the world, so I did the next best thing. I approached CBT much like I've approached DIY projects in the past. First I do some research and assess my own skill set. Then I lay out a plan to take on only what I believe I can reasonably complete. So armed with some good information and enthusiastic partner-in-crime (aka - Pet), I took a leap of faith and landed in a brand new realm of sensation play. Over the past eleven months, Pet and I have expanded our CBT repertoire from simple squeezing and pressure, to include a broad range of impact and sensation play techniques, genital bondage and a variety of toys. And if Pet's reactions are any indication, my skill in this area has certainly grown as well!
So while I'm far from an expert, I think I can certainly offer some guidance on how to safely begin exploring CBT. I've drafted a class outline and have begun gathering the information I'll need. I'll be offering some handouts for participants to take with them. As well, I'll have some pictures and short video clips illustrating the use of techniques described and toys shown in the workshop. I have about eight weeks to prepare.
If the workshop goes well, perhaps I'll post some of the information here for my readers. Wish me luck!
I vividly recall my first very tentative steps into CBT. Pet had lent me his copy of Hardy Haberman's "Family Jewels" which I had devoured; however, I was still apprehensive. I was fighting against a lot of conditioning and experience with men who preferred a woman to be careful with their tender bits. And not only was I new to CBT, but I was brand new as a top as well.
Mr. Haberman recommends you learn from an experienced top; however, that's a tall order in my part of the world, so I did the next best thing. I approached CBT much like I've approached DIY projects in the past. First I do some research and assess my own skill set. Then I lay out a plan to take on only what I believe I can reasonably complete. So armed with some good information and enthusiastic partner-in-crime (aka - Pet), I took a leap of faith and landed in a brand new realm of sensation play. Over the past eleven months, Pet and I have expanded our CBT repertoire from simple squeezing and pressure, to include a broad range of impact and sensation play techniques, genital bondage and a variety of toys. And if Pet's reactions are any indication, my skill in this area has certainly grown as well!
So while I'm far from an expert, I think I can certainly offer some guidance on how to safely begin exploring CBT. I've drafted a class outline and have begun gathering the information I'll need. I'll be offering some handouts for participants to take with them. As well, I'll have some pictures and short video clips illustrating the use of techniques described and toys shown in the workshop. I have about eight weeks to prepare.
If the workshop goes well, perhaps I'll post some of the information here for my readers. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Embracing the Inner Sadist
I have discovered that I truly enjoy inflicting sensations that make my Pet gasp, flinch, moan and shiver. It's not just because I know he likes this sort of activity. No, that would be altogether too altruistic of me and it wouldn't be the whole truth. While I do love to help him fly, I also love watching the myriad of expressions I can provoke. They appeal to me on a very visceral level.
Sometimes I am in awe. Sometimes, my own breath catches in my chest. Sometimes I tingle all over. I feel a sense of power surge through me and I want to see more! The rawness of his expressions feed a part of me that I didn't know existed until now.
<cough, cough>
My that was a bit of an outburst, wasn't it? But there it is! I am more than a gleeful sadist, as Pet first called me. Of course, the gleeful sadist was an easy character to embrace. This new one is darker, but far more interesting.
So who else out there has met their inner sadist and how are you coming to terms with him/her? What thrills you about this aspect of yourself? What scares the crap out of you?
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Planning Another Video
Pet and I had a lot of fun making the video that we recently posted for friends only on Fetlife. It has already got me thinking about a follow-up. I spent the other evening fantasizing about how it might go, drafted an outline and sent it off to Pet to get his reaction. He was enthusiastic! So here's the outline for the opening two scenes (there are six in total) for your enjoyment and feedback.
Video Outline
Title: Cock and Ball Blues: Episode I
Scene 1: Asking for it
Domina, dressed and seated, is approached by a male submissive. He has sought out the Domina to ask her help in fulfilling a fantasy. His first task is to convince her that he and his proposal are worth her time.
Submissive – Must make his case to the Domina: Focuses on explaining why he has come to her (to initiate him into CBT) and what he offers in return for her help.
Domina: Makes the submissive work for the opportunity: She questions his sincerity (challenges him saying he will cave in at the first opportunity; says she won’t waste her time on a CBT virgin with no staying power), makes him strip off his shirt, pull his pants down to his ankles and produce an erection to show her what she will have to work with. She then proceeds to slap his erection and balls to see if he will chicken out. When he holds his ground, she strongly strokes him until he is erect again. Places a cock ring on him then orders him out of his clothes.
The scene fades to black.
Scene 2: Impact and ground rules
Submissive’s arms are raised above his head and secured to the ceiling. He is naked except for his cock ring. The room is illuminated by numerous candles. The Domina is robed. The submissive looks up at her as she approaches.
Domina: Reminds him that he does nothing without her permission, not even groan. She punishes him for looking directly at her without permission by cropping his ass and thighs.
Submissive: Begs forgiveness, takes his punishment stoically.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Learning what it means to be polyamourous
As some readers will have noticed, I haven't been posting as often over the past few months. This has partly been due to the demands of work and reduced energy. But to be completely honest, this week I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about today's topic. It will soon be a year since Pet came into my life and I began exploring my switch and polyamourous leanings. Granted, the poly aspect wasn't an intentional goal at the outset, but I've come to accept that if I am intimate with someone, I will develop feelings for that person. The nature of these feelings of course will vary with the person and circumstances, but they will be there. That's just how I roll.
On the surface, I'm sure to some people, polyamoury appears to be about having your cake and eating it too. To some, it is considered an affront to monogamy while others, no doubt, regard it as a sign of emotional immaturity. I won't bore you with the long list of negatives associated with polyamoury - you get the gist. I've chosen to start this post in this less than pleasant place for a reason. Even though I believed in my heart, for years, that it was possible to love more than one, the many negative associations weighed heavily on me and so I kept my feelings hidden for a very long time.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
A Very Memorable Night
I'm struck by how surreal today has been. This is, no doubt, part of the lasting after-effect of a play party last evening.
I will confess to being a little nervous and excited as the event approached. While Pet and I have played together for almost a year, this was our first play party. During his last visit we had discussed a possible game plan for the evening. Of course, nothing ever goes as planned. In this case; however, the results were far better than expected. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I sent a text message to Pet as I was close to arriving in the city to coordinate where we would meet. He had personal business that took him to a shopping mall so we agreed to meet in the food court. When I arrived, he was already seated nursing a coffee. Across the table sat a coffee and muffin for me. Such a simple act of courtesy and regard, yet utterly heartwarming as well. I think the evening started for me at that moment.
We chatted a while, had our coffee and ran another errand before leaving the mall and heading over to his place. By the conversation in the car, it was clear we were both pretty excited about the evening ahead. On our way we talked about a "safe phrase" (as opposed to a safe word) that either of us was free to use if for any reason the dynamic in our immediate area became uncomfortable. I wanted us to have one as this was an open play party and we would not likely have met everyone who would ultimately be in attendance. In a city as small as ours, there is always the chance of running into someone you know unexpectedly (i.e. someone who doesn't know your kink and you don't know theirs).
We were one of the first few to arrive and as luck should have it, we knew everyone there thus far. We changed out of our street clothes and into something more conducive for play. Pet shed his shirt for a chest harness, collar and leash. When we reappeared in the living room of the rental suite booked for the evening's event, he took his place on a sheepskin at my feet. I was so very proud to be there with him. It didn't take long before I was itching to play. The organizers of the event had set up several bedrooms for different types of play. We chose to head to the impact play space first.
I will confess to being a little nervous and excited as the event approached. While Pet and I have played together for almost a year, this was our first play party. During his last visit we had discussed a possible game plan for the evening. Of course, nothing ever goes as planned. In this case; however, the results were far better than expected. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I sent a text message to Pet as I was close to arriving in the city to coordinate where we would meet. He had personal business that took him to a shopping mall so we agreed to meet in the food court. When I arrived, he was already seated nursing a coffee. Across the table sat a coffee and muffin for me. Such a simple act of courtesy and regard, yet utterly heartwarming as well. I think the evening started for me at that moment.
We chatted a while, had our coffee and ran another errand before leaving the mall and heading over to his place. By the conversation in the car, it was clear we were both pretty excited about the evening ahead. On our way we talked about a "safe phrase" (as opposed to a safe word) that either of us was free to use if for any reason the dynamic in our immediate area became uncomfortable. I wanted us to have one as this was an open play party and we would not likely have met everyone who would ultimately be in attendance. In a city as small as ours, there is always the chance of running into someone you know unexpectedly (i.e. someone who doesn't know your kink and you don't know theirs).
We were one of the first few to arrive and as luck should have it, we knew everyone there thus far. We changed out of our street clothes and into something more conducive for play. Pet shed his shirt for a chest harness, collar and leash. When we reappeared in the living room of the rental suite booked for the evening's event, he took his place on a sheepskin at my feet. I was so very proud to be there with him. It didn't take long before I was itching to play. The organizers of the event had set up several bedrooms for different types of play. We chose to head to the impact play space first.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Home-Made Video
This past weekend, Pet and I had a wonderful play session. It began with a discussion around an upcoming play party which we hope to attend. We talked about protocol and positions; what we will wear and what we might like to do while we are there. We practiced a few activities and talked about how they might proceed at said party. It was exciting to consider the possibilities for both of us.
From there we ventured into rope. I wanted to draw his right wrist close to his upper arm and then pull the upper arm parallel to his head. Took me a few minutes to puzzle over the best way to accomplish this, but eventually I did figure it out. Then I remembered I wanted to try something else. At a recent rope evening with friends, an idea occurred to me while I was tying a gauntlet that started off with a double coin knot looping over three fingers: Could I adapt this idea for CBT? Well as it turns out, the answer is "yes." I was so pleased at how it worked out, we made a ten minute video of the final product in which we share a little bit of how we play together.
This wasn't our first home-made video. We've shot a number of them since Pet bought his camera. We've discovered it can be a great deal of fun to snuggle up in front of the computer and watch the evidence of our antics afterwords.
Personally I find it enlightening to watch my own reactions to things with the benefit of an observer's perspective. It has helped me come to terms with how much I really enjoy tormenting my Pet and provoking new and wonderful reactions. It has been pointed out that my voice and mannerisms change slightly when I'm in "Keeper head-space." And I certainly am enjoying myself throughout! The big grin rarely leaves my face. I love that the chemistry between us actually translates to the small screen.
I like to watch Pet's reactions as we revisit his torments. I especially watch his face and his hands as these often give me the best indication of what is happening for him. Often I get new insights into why something worked out well or not as much. The videos also help me to decide whether or not I'll try something again with him. When we don't videotape, I have to glean as much as I can while in scene and I often wonder how much I've missed.
Last night we did something very different. We edited it and posted it for friends on Fetlife! As the caption we attached to it says: "OMG, we're so nervous in an exhibitionist sort of way..." Why did we choose now to share a video? Partly because of the subject matter. We were honestly pleased to share something a little creative. The video was focused on one subject (CBT) and we were genuinely pleased with how well it lent itself to editing that once we were done, we looked at each other and decided to take the plunge. We figured, if we're contemplating public play, this wasn't a bad choice for a test run of sorts.
As I type this, Pet is re-watching the video from his place and getting a kick out of our antics all over again. I think I'll do the same in few minutes. It's nice to have something to remind ourselves of the fun we've had in between our times together: our version of a kinky scrap book.
So dear reader, do you like to video your play sessions? What motivates you to do so? What sort of activities do you like to show case in your home movies?
From there we ventured into rope. I wanted to draw his right wrist close to his upper arm and then pull the upper arm parallel to his head. Took me a few minutes to puzzle over the best way to accomplish this, but eventually I did figure it out. Then I remembered I wanted to try something else. At a recent rope evening with friends, an idea occurred to me while I was tying a gauntlet that started off with a double coin knot looping over three fingers: Could I adapt this idea for CBT? Well as it turns out, the answer is "yes." I was so pleased at how it worked out, we made a ten minute video of the final product in which we share a little bit of how we play together.
This wasn't our first home-made video. We've shot a number of them since Pet bought his camera. We've discovered it can be a great deal of fun to snuggle up in front of the computer and watch the evidence of our antics afterwords.
Personally I find it enlightening to watch my own reactions to things with the benefit of an observer's perspective. It has helped me come to terms with how much I really enjoy tormenting my Pet and provoking new and wonderful reactions. It has been pointed out that my voice and mannerisms change slightly when I'm in "Keeper head-space." And I certainly am enjoying myself throughout! The big grin rarely leaves my face. I love that the chemistry between us actually translates to the small screen.
I like to watch Pet's reactions as we revisit his torments. I especially watch his face and his hands as these often give me the best indication of what is happening for him. Often I get new insights into why something worked out well or not as much. The videos also help me to decide whether or not I'll try something again with him. When we don't videotape, I have to glean as much as I can while in scene and I often wonder how much I've missed.
Last night we did something very different. We edited it and posted it for friends on Fetlife! As the caption we attached to it says: "OMG, we're so nervous in an exhibitionist sort of way..." Why did we choose now to share a video? Partly because of the subject matter. We were honestly pleased to share something a little creative. The video was focused on one subject (CBT) and we were genuinely pleased with how well it lent itself to editing that once we were done, we looked at each other and decided to take the plunge. We figured, if we're contemplating public play, this wasn't a bad choice for a test run of sorts.
As I type this, Pet is re-watching the video from his place and getting a kick out of our antics all over again. I think I'll do the same in few minutes. It's nice to have something to remind ourselves of the fun we've had in between our times together: our version of a kinky scrap book.
So dear reader, do you like to video your play sessions? What motivates you to do so? What sort of activities do you like to show case in your home movies?
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Contemplating Erotic Content/Erotica
I've recently learned that at least one online publisher has been pressured into pulling erotic fiction dealing with certain taboo subjects (e.g. incest). Smashwords was contacted by PayPal in late February and informed that they would no longer allow certain types of content to be transacted through their processing platform. Smashwords is not happy about this and is working to try and strike some sort of compromise with PayPal. For more information on this particular circumstance (because there are others brewing), go to http://www.smashwords.com/about/beta
According to my source, much of the discussion is polarized around very emotional topics such as censorship and preventing child exploitation. This blog post is about neither of these. As I listened to my source talk about the issues, I got to thinking about the role erotic content in fiction and erotica can and do play in the sexual lives of people. Sure, like any piece of fiction, it can entertain and depending on the genre, take the reader on a journey of intrigue, mystery, true crime or romance in another country, era of history or galaxy. But erotic fiction and erotica offer the reader even more than this.
Erotic content/ erotica is a vehicle for exploration of sexual desires and fantasies. Even the most vanilla erotic romance plays such a role in the hands of the sexually inexperienced. I vividly recall the very physical reaction I had to the relatively sanitized content of Harlequin Romances when I was barely in my teens. The words painted a vivid picture in my mind of passion, the likes of which I had not actually seen with my own eyes at that point, let alone experienced. I felt that delicious flutter in the pit of my stomach and tingle between my legs and tried to imagine what it felt like to be caught in such a lusty embrace. The next time I was caught in the throes of an adolescent crush, I had a better understanding of what was happening to me. That spark of attraction and desire was recognizable!
When the erotic content ventures into more adventurous territory for the reader, that's when things can get very interesting. I remember the first novel I read with strong homosexual content. Initially I bought the book as I was curious to learn more about homosexuality. (Remember, this was the pre-internet era). I got caught up in the story and in the physical and emotional responses of the characters. I hadn't counted on getting hot and bothered as I read about the sexual exploits of the main characters.
Erotic content in fiction or erotica itself can provide an opportunity for exploration of our darker desires as well. Consider the ongoing popularity of vampires in fiction. Readers are drawn in by the intensity and/or tormented nature of the characters. The sexual content often has elements of danger, angst and powerful lust. In erotic paranormal romances, human characters interact with vampire or other supernatural beings, breaking taboos, crossing boundaries and having amazing physical experiences. Does the average reader want to meet a vampire in a dark alley or become that sort of predatory creature? Of course not. But the notion of confronting and indulging forbidden urges, of acknowledging the darkness within and finding ways to embrace it can be attractive themes to those of us actively repressing aspects of our sexuality.
Sometimes, a work of fiction provides validation for the thoughts nagging at our consciousness. Romance novels that describe situations where polyamoury or open relationships might actually work can help nudge folks out of the closet enough to acknowledge their own unfulfilled desires and needs. Erotica that sheds light on what happens inside private BDSM clubs can provide a window into another world for someone who has never heard of such a thing.
Sometimes, they provide masturbatory inspiration and can nudge a stagnant libido back to life again, without the use of medication. They can inspire us to enliven our existing relationships. Even something as simple as reading erotica aloud to one's partner and sharing why you like a particular story can help partners to better communicate their needs and desires.
Of course, the one caveat here is these books are all works of fiction. It would be a mistake to presume that the stories they tell will automatically unfold that way for any particular reader. You may find that what turns you on is a complete turn off for your partner. You may discover things about the nature of your own desire that intrigue and shock you. You may become motivated to make major changes in your own life on the basis of what you learn. You might discover it is enough for you to experience all these forbidden pleasures vicariously through the characters in these books. The exploration that results is as individual as the reader.
At the very least, erotic content in fiction and erotica all certainly stimulate our imaginations and challenge us to think beyond the confines of our own experiences, to imagine a greater field of possibilities, and in some cases even to dare to dream of living more authentically.
According to my source, much of the discussion is polarized around very emotional topics such as censorship and preventing child exploitation. This blog post is about neither of these. As I listened to my source talk about the issues, I got to thinking about the role erotic content in fiction and erotica can and do play in the sexual lives of people. Sure, like any piece of fiction, it can entertain and depending on the genre, take the reader on a journey of intrigue, mystery, true crime or romance in another country, era of history or galaxy. But erotic fiction and erotica offer the reader even more than this.
Erotic content/ erotica is a vehicle for exploration of sexual desires and fantasies. Even the most vanilla erotic romance plays such a role in the hands of the sexually inexperienced. I vividly recall the very physical reaction I had to the relatively sanitized content of Harlequin Romances when I was barely in my teens. The words painted a vivid picture in my mind of passion, the likes of which I had not actually seen with my own eyes at that point, let alone experienced. I felt that delicious flutter in the pit of my stomach and tingle between my legs and tried to imagine what it felt like to be caught in such a lusty embrace. The next time I was caught in the throes of an adolescent crush, I had a better understanding of what was happening to me. That spark of attraction and desire was recognizable!
When the erotic content ventures into more adventurous territory for the reader, that's when things can get very interesting. I remember the first novel I read with strong homosexual content. Initially I bought the book as I was curious to learn more about homosexuality. (Remember, this was the pre-internet era). I got caught up in the story and in the physical and emotional responses of the characters. I hadn't counted on getting hot and bothered as I read about the sexual exploits of the main characters.
Erotic content in fiction or erotica itself can provide an opportunity for exploration of our darker desires as well. Consider the ongoing popularity of vampires in fiction. Readers are drawn in by the intensity and/or tormented nature of the characters. The sexual content often has elements of danger, angst and powerful lust. In erotic paranormal romances, human characters interact with vampire or other supernatural beings, breaking taboos, crossing boundaries and having amazing physical experiences. Does the average reader want to meet a vampire in a dark alley or become that sort of predatory creature? Of course not. But the notion of confronting and indulging forbidden urges, of acknowledging the darkness within and finding ways to embrace it can be attractive themes to those of us actively repressing aspects of our sexuality.
Sometimes, a work of fiction provides validation for the thoughts nagging at our consciousness. Romance novels that describe situations where polyamoury or open relationships might actually work can help nudge folks out of the closet enough to acknowledge their own unfulfilled desires and needs. Erotica that sheds light on what happens inside private BDSM clubs can provide a window into another world for someone who has never heard of such a thing.
Sometimes, they provide masturbatory inspiration and can nudge a stagnant libido back to life again, without the use of medication. They can inspire us to enliven our existing relationships. Even something as simple as reading erotica aloud to one's partner and sharing why you like a particular story can help partners to better communicate their needs and desires.
Of course, the one caveat here is these books are all works of fiction. It would be a mistake to presume that the stories they tell will automatically unfold that way for any particular reader. You may find that what turns you on is a complete turn off for your partner. You may discover things about the nature of your own desire that intrigue and shock you. You may become motivated to make major changes in your own life on the basis of what you learn. You might discover it is enough for you to experience all these forbidden pleasures vicariously through the characters in these books. The exploration that results is as individual as the reader.
At the very least, erotic content in fiction and erotica all certainly stimulate our imaginations and challenge us to think beyond the confines of our own experiences, to imagine a greater field of possibilities, and in some cases even to dare to dream of living more authentically.
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